Jealous

I want to take those happy picture with you too..

I want to go there too..

I want to take a picture where you smiled like that, or possibly more..

I want you to only look at me, and not to the other guys..

Because

I can't stand it whenever you're apart
Sometimes I'm worried
Hey are you thinking about me too?
Have your feeling never changed?

Those questions kept popping on my mind
It's not that i'm not trusting you
It's just that I'm worried that someday
I might be nothing to you.

Tell me that I'm not alone
That i'm not walking down through this abyss
All by myself like a lone wolf that's separated from its pack.
Tell me that you'll be here to walk by my side.

Just the thought of you getting close with another guy
It kills me
I'm worried that there's somebody there that's going to,
Stole my position in your heart.

Over thinking kills me,
Do you talk to them the way that you talked to me?
Do you smile to them like the way that you smiled to me?
I really hope that's not the case.

Whatever it is,
Just know that i'm always be there for you
Although not physically,
I'll always be there
Whatever happens,
I'll still be there.

Because I'm your best friend.
You're special friend,
And you're special to me ;)

It Never Changed - Day 8

Its almost at the end of the year, its the time where everyone suddenly become so happy. It contradicts the beginning of the year where everyone looks so lethargic and almost like a zombie. It was announced that the school going to held a festival. A school festival. You know where everyone would eat all day and returned home with a tummy ache. Suddenly, there's a suggestion that the class should participate in the festival by opening up a booth.

That really lightens up Carl's mood. Because he is very excited with such proposal. It's going to become a new experience for him. Gab also seems to be excited with it. But to be honest, will he be needed? After all, Carl doesn't know how to do things, he doesn't know how to cook, he has terrible communication skills and yeah, he is worried. So being a chef is out of the question and being the the one who will take care in the counter? He's too nervous and awkward to do that.

And so the fated day arrived. Carl has just got to the school gate where he was greeted by his fellow classmates. They called up to him to help Gab to bring the carbonated drinks from her sister's car. So the guys brought him to the car. "Why do I suddenly feel so nervous?" It must be meeting her sister make him feel that. So the car's boot was being open. Carl saw a lot of white plastic bags which surely contains the beverages. One or two were handed to him.

When the bags were given to him, Carl eyes opened big. "Oh my god!, these bags are so heavy!" he talks to himself. "No! I must maintain my facial expression and body posture, I cant show them I'm pathetic but I'm a man!" He thinks he should be cool in front of Gab. With a slow and steady walk, he brought the drinks to their booth. Carl glads that it went well.

Then Carl saw a "Dino Milo" sign. There's a cute dinosaur there. "It must be drawn by Gab", Carl was pretty sure that since the art style was clearly Gab's. "Dino Milo? What kind of Milo is that?"
Carl does seem to be interested by such cute name. And so everyone were assigned to their respective assignments. Some were chosen to be a chef and etc. So for Carl, he was given an iron stick and a basket of ice. "Huh? What do I do with this?" Carl with a confused face. Suddenly, Gab talk to him, she asks him to crush the ices to a much tinier pieces. Since, it was from Gab, Carl just nod and starts the operation.

"Well, this is actually quiet hard and tiring". As he was focused in doing it, together with full of responsibilities and passion. Gab suddenly talked to him again. "Can you really do it? You're not tired?" with a cute voice and naughty giggles. A bit embarrassed and caught off guard. Carl quickly answer it with saying "Of course I can" with a very slow voice. Then, Gab continued her work again.

At that time, a thought crossed Carl's mind. "She is so cute", with a little bit of blushing.

Day 8 ended.

It Never Changed - Day 7

Carl put all that past him. Not that he wants to ever remember all that ever again. Let the past be the past and focus more on the future. Past is just like the history, there's nothing we humans could change. All that we can do is to just learn from it and never repeat the same mistake ever again.

One day, during the normal school days, when everyone just got back from recess. Carl saw three silhouettes coming from his class. It was Gab and her friends. Carl saw her face brimming with smiles. She looks embarrassed. But from what, he doesn't know. That have really poked his curiosity, he really wants to find out what has happen. But, he can't just ask her out of the blue can he? It's not good to busy body. That would surely give a bad impressions to Gab. "Oh well, whatever" he said.

So, since he already reaches his class, he quickly went to his seat. There, his he wants to take out his textbooks. Suddenly he finds a letter from under the table. "A letter? What letter is this?", with curiosity he open and read it. The hand writings are so cute, from that he knows that its from a girl. The language is cute and polite so its totally not from a man that just wants to prank him. So, he continued reading it. One of the contents was that, "You're eyes is so beautiful, it's cute especially when you "besar besarkan mata tu", you're nail are so beautiful, who is Cindu? Haaaa probably she heard about it from the boys or accidentally heard about it when the boys pranked Carl by shouting her name randomly. Lastly, there's a halal logo suddenly came out of nowhere. Carl can't hold his laughter, one because it's funny and cute, seconds he is very happy about it. Did somebody likes me? But who is it? She could at least write her name! Boy, he sure is excited.

He then looked around to see whether there's people around him. He then hide it under his table. Then, Carl went out of the classroom for a while. His brothers then came and asked him, "why are u smiling like a psycho right now? Carl tried to hide it from them, but suddenly one of them go to his table and accidentally saw the letter. Carl with a nervous look. The dude then look at it and read it. "Guys look at this! Carl got a love letter!" Everyone the goes woowwww! "Oh god, why didn't I put it in my bag?" With a little bit of depression there. The boys seems so excited. "Wow, Carl now you got an admirer! Do you know who it is?" Carl just nod off, no I don't. Then they just say congratulations. "I'm sure he's gonna smile all day once he gets home or jump on his bed like a happy little child". "No, he's going to frame the letter and hang it on his wall!".

"How the hell did the guys know"? Carl said it on his mind. Anyway, Carl does seem to be happy. I mean it's like a dream for every boy to get a love letter and those dream now has been a reality for Carl. Thank you ;).

Day 7 ended.

It Never Changed - Day 6

Its been 4 days already. Which means today is the last day. Carl is not sure whether he should be happy or sad. He is happy with the facts that he's going to go back home today but the facts that there is a high possibility that he won't ever meet his new friends again bugs him. "These few days have been wonderful" thought himself. "I'm sure gonna miss the happy shower time every morning that I have here", him while unable to hold his laughter.

After the last talk ended. Carl is walking alone towards the mosque. It was then that a girl's voice breaks the silence. Carl thought he was alone. With a friendly introduction, the girl starts a conversation with him. "What's the name of the girl again? It's Cindu Legal isn't it?" Carl mutters to himself. The girl asked him a lot, but Carl already forgotten about it. One of it is his phone number. Carl rejected however, because to him, its wrong to hold any girls number without any purpose. With the sexy skinny pants, Carl increases his pace, because he thought that its not nice for a boy and a girl without any connection walking together. Nevertheless, Cindu gave him her phone number and also her Myspace account. Yes, back then Myspace is the number 1 social network.

He then reaches the mosque. It looks like every other students are looking at him with a very dissatisfied looks. He could senses that the atmosphere back then a bit heavy. Envied faces everywhere. Cindu does seems like a popular girl. Anyway, he ignored it and quickly went to take ablution. While doing it, he heard girl's voices from the other side of the wall which says, "Don't you guys think that the boys from Cloudy Water are so good looking? They're tall too", By hearing that, he bursts into laughter, to the point he almost cried. "Are you kidding me? We are practically nothing back in Cloudy Water!". Carl with disbelief.

Anyway its time for us to go back home. After saying goodbye to everyone from the Golden Bay, the Cloudy Water students took the bus to get back home.

At night, Carl opened his Myspace account and saw that Cindu had already added him as friend. He then just approved it. From there, they would chat together like everyday. Everytime Carl uploads a new photo, she would commented on it by saying "cute". Carl was like, "Really?". Then they're starting to get close. Cindu managed to make Carl feel special. But that however, does not last that long.

One day, she stopped mentioning him in the site. It felt so weird to him, but maybe she's just busy. She'll reply one day. Carl being positive. But a few days have passed, but no replies. Since then, Carl would open the site like every night and wait for her to reply. Weeks and months have passed, but still no sign. But Carl, doesn''t give up, maybe she's just busy so she doesn't have any time to spare. After all, she is a boarding school students.

After months and months passed, she finally replied. But it doesn't sound great. "Carl, we're busy nowadays, So I don't think we'll be able to talk with each other again". With that, it ends. A bit sour, the guy opened up her photo album and later discovered that on her profile picture there's a guy's name. She had never changed her profile picture. It means that she already had a boyfriend from the start. "Then why does she trying to get close with me?". With a grim voice Carl said.

Then he realizes that he had been played from the start. HAHAHA! Carl laughs with the absurdity. Something inside of him had changed. The summer of his heart has turn into an icy cold of winter. Without saying anything, he log off.

"It was such a big mistake". While being expressionless.

Day 6 ended.

It Never Changed - Day 5

I've been staying here for few days already. I wonder what the others are doing right now? In school? I wonder what my family are doing? Are they fine? Carl starting to miss his home and his friends.

Dawn arrived, and Carl wakes up a bit earlier because there's gonna be a 'qiamullail' in the 'surau'. So, he go and take a bath earlier. Although he is very sleepy, the cold water managed to make him very fresh. He looked around the dorm and everyone seems to turn into zombies. A very frightening scene to behold indeed. After all, they're only allowed to sleep only for a few hours.

Arriving there early, he sat on the front. After a while, the imaam came and so the activity started. Its going to be a 'solat tasbih'. To be honest, it was Carl's first time in doing it and so, its quiet alien to him. First, the imaam taught us how to do it. After that, it started. After a while, he's done with it. Carl could feel his hands and legs a bit sore and it turns red. The prayer is quiet long but amidst all that, there is a sense of accomplishments in his heart. He turn around and look around him, the zombies are still here. He giggles a bit. After that its 'subuh prayer'.

After all that over, the students were allowed to return back to their dorm. Some took the time to sleep while Carl uses it too get prepared for breakfast and the agendas of today. Still with his sexy skinny pants, he went to the canteen. Much like before, he really enjoyed his breakfast. Then, the talks begin. What the talks are were about, the writer had already forgotten. But, it must be fun and much better than yesterday.

When he reaches his room, his roommate suddenly called up to him. He asked him whether the girl that sit behind him is cute or not? Carl doesn't know what he's talking about though. Girl? Who? Which girl? He can't recall any girl. Then, his roommate just smiles. Carl was just confused. Whatever he said and straightly went for dinner in the canteen. After all that was done. On his way back to the dorm, a girl appeared, which is his girl classmates. She asked for his number while stating that someone from her dorm wants to get Carl's phone number.

To which Carl refuses as he doesn't know who the girl that had asked is. His classmate  then just say ok.

Getting all confused, he went to his bed. Who would ever want my number? I'm not even attractive. Carl talking to himself.

Day 5 ended.

It Never Changed - Day 4

Since Carl is the type of person that could easily adapt to a new place, he doesn't have any problem to fall asleep on the bed. Although he does feel a bit of discomfort because of the alien surroundings of the dorm, its not really a big problem. After a while he closes his eyes, he fell asleep.

It's all dark before it suddenly turns bright, and a voice accompanies it and later he felt a little bit of a sensation like a hand touching his skins. At first, it was gentle before it turns very wild, he's been rocked by it but he doesn't care and continues to sleep. The slow voice suddenly turns very loud, and it startled him and he finally wakes up. The first thing he sees with his tiny opened eyes was an annoyed faces of his friends. One of them said, "Haishh finally you woke up, about time too, we're about to leave you alone" and they later burst into laughter. "Now, now go take a shower, and prepare for Subuh prayer". Carl just nods. Although his name sounds like someone from the Iberian, he is a Muslim.

With a grumpy face he walks to the shower. He turn on the shower and the cold water hit his body and he was really startled by it. The cold water almost frost him! Anyway lets just skip the shower parts. After he's done with that, he went to wear his baju melayu. Then he went to pray. Done all that, he went back to the dorm in order to prepare for his breakfast and to iron his school uniforms. It was then that he realizes that he had accidentally brought his old pants. "OMG!!! There is no way that I could fit into these!!!" him with his disbelief looks. But since he doesn't have any choice, he just wear that. "Oh, this is so not comfortable!". Carl really starting to regret his doings.

Anyway, done with that, he quickly goes down the stairs to get to the canteen. His tight pants cause it hard for him to move around. From afar, it seems like he is wearing a skinny jean, or in this case, its skinny school pants. Oh not also forget to mention, its very hard to tuck in his shirt. "Do I really have to endure this for four days?", while sighing. Then, he went to the canteen to eat his breakfast. What is it? A curry puff maybe.

And so the first talk begins, everyone would have to go to the venue, which in this case a classroom which is located in a school building and its on the fourth floor. "Another stairs?" With a pants like this, a stair does seem to be his worst enemy. He is worried that his skinny pants might goes prapp! and that would surely be a nightmare. Nevertheless, thank god he managed to safely arrived to the venue without any problems. The talk begun and it primarily about how to answer and succeed in PMR. What makes it worse, today's talk is Maths! I really love maths but not to calculate, and formulas and numbers. Yep I love Maths a lot. Carl talking to himself.

After a few hours, the talk ended, and so they may disperse. There are a lot of another activity but all of it were too generic. Night arrived, and so Carl is very tired, he went on to his bed and fell asleep.

Day 4 ended.